MAD-CROC ENERGY GUM!!! POWER PEPPERMINT FLAVOR!!

February 24, 2008

When I picked this up I thought it looked oddly like a Power Thirst commercial gone horribly wrong. It looked like it was going to make my testicles explode upon first bite, which is not a good thing. The freaking gum pieces are disturbingly large, three times the size of a Chiclet or a piece of Dentyne. I was prepared for the worst, what I got was not far from it.

The gum starts out delicious and minty, but after a terribly short ten minutes, it tastes like raw coffee beans in that “Wow, I didn’t know things could be this bitter.” kinda way. Points deducted. I guess the company didn’t lie to me by saying “WILD NEW TASTE!”. I don’t know that I feel any more energetic now, but apparently two pieces (recommended serving size) has as much caffeine as 8 oz. of energy drink (I’d rather have the drink) or one cup of coffee. If you have something to wash the bitterness down with, and you really need caffeine, you might wanna try it. Other than that, no way I’m buying this again, except maybe to shock a friend. 6/10

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VITAL Lifestyle Water “Vitality”

February 24, 2008

vitalContrary to the name this is not “alternative” lifestyle water, which was kinda disappointing. The flavor struck me as disturbingly odd, “Cucumber-Lime”, so I got it at the rate of $.60 at Big Lots. It says it has calcium, aloe vera and white tea in it. I don’t think that would add much to flavor though, not even the tea. So I got it home, popped it open, had a taste and it tastes pretty much like water that you left a cucumber in over-night and added a few drops of lime juice. It’s actually quite good. The packaging looks pretty good I guess. I would buy it again but not if it wasn’t so cheap. Once again, it’s not alternative-lifestyle water so it doesn’t taste like the gay, don’t be afraid. 8/10


Freakin’ ACE Energy

February 23, 2008

aceAye, so today I stole a bit of an energy drink my friend bought from Big Lots. It’s name, if you were too stupid to get the title, is Ace Energy, with a delightful pin-up with a decently endowed woman on a playing card. So totally isn’t what the average over-weight man playing World of Warcraft grinding in Magma Core would drink. The interesting thing is the design of the can is like the taste, really great. Taste is simply good, it tastes like you mixed a standard Monster with a splash of Bawls to get this cheap drink. I’d honestly might buy this if it were $2.50. So if you do happen to find this ace of spades (I encourage you to cringe) of cheap energy drinks, don’t hesitate support the company. 9/10


Rush! energy drink Lite

February 23, 2008

rush I was pleasantly surprised when I tasted this. It honestly tasted like a real strawberry except carbonated. Freaking delicious. Unoriginal can design but oh well. Purchased at Big Lots for $.60. Standard energy ingredients. Except for the fact that it has not sugar, carbs, or calories, so that might be a turn off for you. A good drink that’s worth your money if you happen to like Strawberries.  8/10


Howling Monkey Energizing Cola

February 23, 2008

Howling Monkey I really don’t have anything bad to say about this. I really, really like the picture on the can. It tastes like the German cola flavored candy which is not so great in candy form, but I like it in this application. It doesn’t try to taste like Coke or Pepsi, so that’s good. It’s got no sugar but yet is still delicious. It’s strange. It’s also an engery drink with the typical energy ingredients. You should definitely buy this stuff. I got it in a 6 pack for $3.60 at Big Lots but the price on each can says “$.99MSRP” but that’s still dang cheap. Not much else to say about it, try it for yourself. 9/10