February 24, 2008

When I picked this up I thought it looked oddly like a Power Thirst commercial gone horribly wrong. It looked like it was going to make my testicles explode upon first bite, which is not a good thing. The freaking gum pieces are disturbingly large, three times the size of a Chiclet or a piece of Dentyne. I was prepared for the worst, what I got was not far from it.

The gum starts out delicious and minty, but after a terribly short ten minutes, it tastes like raw coffee beans in that “Wow, I didn’t know things could be this bitter.” kinda way. Points deducted. I guess the company didn’t lie to me by saying “WILD NEW TASTE!”. I don’t know that I feel any more energetic now, but apparently two pieces (recommended serving size) has as much caffeine as 8 oz. of energy drink (I’d rather have the drink) or one cup of coffee. If you have something to wash the bitterness down with, and you really need caffeine, you might wanna try it. Other than that, no way I’m buying this again, except maybe to shock a friend. 6/10


VITAL Lifestyle Water “Vitality”

February 24, 2008

vitalContrary to the name this is not “alternative” lifestyle water, which was kinda disappointing. The flavor struck me as disturbingly odd, “Cucumber-Lime”, so I got it at the rate of $.60 at Big Lots. It says it has calcium, aloe vera and white tea in it. I don’t think that would add much to flavor though, not even the tea. So I got it home, popped it open, had a taste and it tastes pretty much like water that you left a cucumber in over-night and added a few drops of lime juice. It’s actually quite good. The packaging looks pretty good I guess. I would buy it again but not if it wasn’t so cheap. Once again, it’s not alternative-lifestyle water so it doesn’t taste like the gay, don’t be afraid. 8/10

Freakin’ ACE Energy

February 23, 2008

aceAye, so today I stole a bit of an energy drink my friend bought from Big Lots. It’s name, if you were too stupid to get the title, is Ace Energy, with a delightful pin-up with a decently endowed woman on a playing card. So totally isn’t what the average over-weight man playing World of Warcraft grinding in Magma Core would drink. The interesting thing is the design of the can is like the taste, really great. Taste is simply good, it tastes like you mixed a standard Monster with a splash of Bawls to get this cheap drink. I’d honestly might buy this if it were $2.50. So if you do happen to find this ace of spades (I encourage you to cringe) of cheap energy drinks, don’t hesitate support the company. 9/10

Rush! energy drink Lite

February 23, 2008

rush I was pleasantly surprised when I tasted this. It honestly tasted like a real strawberry except carbonated. Freaking delicious. Unoriginal can design but oh well. Purchased at Big Lots for $.60. Standard energy ingredients. Except for the fact that it has not sugar, carbs, or calories, so that might be a turn off for you. A good drink that’s worth your money if you happen to like Strawberries.  8/10

Howling Monkey Energizing Cola

February 23, 2008

Howling Monkey I really don’t have anything bad to say about this. I really, really like the picture on the can. It tastes like the German cola flavored candy which is not so great in candy form, but I like it in this application. It doesn’t try to taste like Coke or Pepsi, so that’s good. It’s got no sugar but yet is still delicious. It’s strange. It’s also an engery drink with the typical energy ingredients. You should definitely buy this stuff. I got it in a 6 pack for $3.60 at Big Lots but the price on each can says “$.99MSRP” but that’s still dang cheap. Not much else to say about it, try it for yourself. 9/10

Super Amazing Gundam Knock-off Fun Tiem!1!

February 23, 2008

Gundam has some pretty sweet looking robots so who wouldn’t want to copy them. I mean, they’re Japanese robots with guns and swords, there’s not much stuff in the world that’s cooler than that. Except Ninja Gundams….. But anyway.

So we saw these two Gundam knock-offs at Big Lots called SUPERDUTY HERO. I was excited, they looked silly and cheap and knock-offy.gundamknockoff1 gundamknockoff2So we got both of them at $5 each which was way too much. You’ll see why. We got them in the car and opened them and almost immediately, I kid you not, the right hand (the only one that could hold weapons) broke off completely. On both of them! So there goes most of the fun. But what was scarier was that they felt almost as light as a few paper clips. I was incredibly disturbed seeing as how we’d just spent $10 on them, and there was hardly anything there. Kudos to the company that made these though for tricking us into actually buying them. Dirty commies.

I don’t know much about Gundam but I’m pretty sure these are direct replicas of characters from the show, judge for yourself. The big weapons which look like a funky sniper rifle and a gatling gun don’t fit in any part of them but hey, free plastic guns!gundamknockoff3 gundamknockoff4They have holes in them like sound is supposed to come out of them and the gatling gun has like, LED things on it but I couldn’t find any place to open them to put batteries or anything of the like in them, which was very sad. All in all I got ripped off but I’m not gonna waste gas returning them. Oh and every part of them pretty much breaks off at the slightest amount of pressure so they’re not even good to play with. 4/10

I hope you enjoyed this review and learned something. That something probably sounds like, “If it looks like it’s a cheap piece of crap, it probably is.”. Drop a comment plz.